When things get hard

I know I am not the only one who is feeling this, it feels like the whole world is, but things seem tough right now from a personal to a global scale. Whether it is a fear or anxiety about what is to come on a global and national level, health issues like cancer or dementia within a family, substance abuse or homelessness, financial hardship, depression rates are at an all time high; it just seems like more people than not are struggling in one way or another. On a personal level over the last four years, I lost a job at a place I thought I would spend the rest of my life at, I lost friends who I had trusted, I have family members who are battling cancer and cognitive decline diseases like dementia and. The saying is true ‘ when it rains it pours’ and I honestly never expected it to pour this much during such a short period of time. I know at the beginning when all of these issues began to present themselves, one on top of another,  it seemed like it was going to be impossible to overcome because it just seemed like everything was “going to shit” for lack of a better term. 

Once I knew and sensed a lot of these challenges were going to come fast one after another, I knew I had to trade in some old habits for new to prepare for what is to come. Now, I do think that these new habits like yoga, mediation and energy healing were helpful and in my overall wellness during this time, there are things in life that we can not prepare for and if we spent our time trying to prepare for all of the possible things that could go wrong, we wouldn’t be living at all. Balance in life is key and that is true with focusing on the things that we can control and the process and letting go of what we can not control, or getting on the same frequency of the universal flow of life. Now, I am not talking about toxic positivity here, it is ok to acknowledge that circumstances are shit and that there are things that happen to people in life that are not fair. People suffer for things they shouldn't have to suffer for and denying and pretending everything is perfect when they are not is counterproductive but at the same time obsessing over the suffering is also counter productive . This is the human condition and it is painful to be a human sometimes.  I think that making this acknowledgment first is important when it comes to dealing with pain and suffering. From there, the decision on how to proceed is yours. 

It is the challenging times that help a person grow and reveal their true character. Intention is important and something I try to do when faced with a challenge in my path, is ask myself what I can learn from the situation and what I think I can get out of it while also understanding that I need to be flexible because what I think the lesson is upfront compared to the universal lesson may be different. An open mind and a growth mindset are two things that if used with intention, will help you learn and grow from any situation, good and bad. It is also important to let yourself feel anything you need to feel because the only way for the brain and the body to process life's events is through emotion. Getting in touch with your body during these times will help you better understand how different emotions present themselves in the body and your behavior. I know for me, I always struggled with the emotion of anger so I used these situations to help me better understand the emotion, how it feels in my body, how my brain processes it and how to move that energy in a healthy, productive way. 

Now even though it is good to learn some of these things on your own, having people in your life to support you through difficult times is imperative. I will admit that after the shit hit the fan and I lost “friends” my trauma response was to isolate myself from everyone. I do think that this step was necessary for my healing since I am sensitive to other people's feelings and emotions, so that I could separate what they were feeling from what my feelings are, I needed to be mostly alone in order to do this. It is good to be with and understand yourself but you don’t want to isolate yourself too much. Humans are social beings and need support systems during times of turmoil, support systems that love you unconditionally. If you are ever in doubt it never hurts to reach out to a trusted friend or family member to talk through some of the harder emotions that you may not be able to work through on your own, and of course seek help if you need it. I still see my therapist at least once a month just to make sure I am on the right track. 

This holiday season hold the ones that you love tight and tell them that you love them because tomorrow is not guaranteed . Always choose kindness and that starts by being kind with yourself, you can not fill someone else's cup if your own cup is not full so take care of yourself and give yourself grace. Gratitude is probably the most important thing when things are tough. Sometimes when we are forced to look harder at things to be grateful that is where true growth happens and it also makes us more grateful for what we have when things are good.